It all starts with reality. But what’s actually real is surprisingly elusive. Mental activity usually makes it difficult to know exactly what’s real, much less accept it once it is known. We have to fight through all our projections and judgments, all the ways our emotions color what we see and experience, all the ways our history becomes the stories we tell ourselves about our lives. That is a lot of baggage to carry. If we can succeed in putting that baggage down, in opening our eyes and hearts to what’s really happening in any moment, then we have the opportunity to discover the infinite wondrous possibilities that the real represents.To begin we have to do our emotional and psychological “work.” That means uncovering the wounds of the past – everyone has them dating back from childhood – and uncovering our shadows– those beliefs we took on about ourselves and the world that started with our wounds and now trip us as we aspire to move on. We all have our shadows, our dark side, the parts of ourselves we hide, repress, and deny. Until they’re made conscious they will continue to undermine our greatest intentions. Our shadows must be fully integrated and yoked to our sense of mission or purpose in life.
The agreements we make, spoken and unspoken, with all of those we interact with, constitute the ground on which we walk through life. Without a deep commitment to complete accountability, to living life in integrity, (matching our words and actions), all relationships, and eventually community and all of society, break down. Commitment to upholding agreements is the glue that holds people together. Love is important but less important than being accountable to your love, to placing yourself in service to those loves. Being accountable is what makes sustainable community possible.
Regular, intentional rituals are a necessity for marking our journey through life. Through ritual and rites of passage we become acquainted with our life’s deepest purpose and remain on track to live it. Most of us engage in some ceremonies – graduations, weddings, birthdays, funerals… But we need more rituals and we need all of them to carry vastly increased force. They have to mean something to us not only emotionally but psychically. They have to affect us sub-consciously, archetypally – at those regions of the self connected to ways of being that are 50,000 years old. We need rituals for ending childhood, for puberty, for leaving home, for becoming an adult man or woman, to prepare for taking spouses and starting families, for becoming elders, for preparing to die. By marking these occasions publicly we reaffirm and solidify community.
Truly grounded in reality, uncolored by stories of the past and mental projections, free of unspoken or unconscious agendas, we can awaken to the endless possibilities of the now. Every moment becomes an exciting opportunity for growth, for experiencing life in a new way, for acts of compassion, for realignment with what most fulfills us, for creative expression. Free of trying to preserve appearances, of protecting the ego, of “saving face,” we can engage more fully and humbly in what the moment asks of us. We honor our ignorance by learning from other people and other cultures. We listen deeply to discern “what is.” This is what makes life feel full, not rushing about to acquire new things or go new places. We never shrink from asserting our voice. If we need to teach, we teach. If we need to learn, we become students. We’re ready to become both mentor and mentee. In fact, we need to be both. That connection “up and down” is what connects us to our lineage, our sense of where we are in time: “up” by inheriting the wisdom of our ancestors, “down” by speaking to our descendants. By mentoring and being mentored we sustain and perpetuate the values of community.
Spiritual practice provides the philosophical framework for all we do. Through meditation and prayer we listen deeply to silence – the wellspring of all wisdom. Spiritual practice reminds us we are all interdependent, that what each of us does impacts countless others. That we take care of each other not out of a sense of obligation or altruism but because it’s how we take care of ourselves. Just as wound and shadow work constitute “soul work,” driving our psychic roots deep into the earth, into the past, into dirt and darkness, spiritual practice constitutes “spirit work,” driving our trunk and branches skyward, into the future, into light and infinite possibility.
The capacity for endless human transformation exists in all of us. We are, at our greatest depth, each of us, good. This is where our Buddha nature, the god within, resides. “When each of us lives the purpose in life we were designed for the world will live in perfect harmony.” (Buckminster Fuller) “The meaning of life is to discover our unique gifts. The purpose of life is to give them away.” (Unknown, but often wrongly attributed to Picasso.) Consumption is the pathway to unfulfillment – “dukkha” is the Pali word for it, meaning unsatisfactoriness or suffering. Only giving our gifts freely in service to others can bring deep joy and fulfillment in life.
Spiritual practice and regular ritual allow us to know and appreciate that death is coming. We don’t live in fear of it, or become morbid or despairing; we simply accept its fundamental reality. It will take us all at any moment, ready or not. Once we truly know and accept this we become free, free to rejoice in what we have now.
Above Photo Credit: MiliVanily from Canva
Bristlecone Pine Trees – the oldest living things on the planet.
White Mountains, Eastern Sierras, CA. Elevation ~ 11,000 feet
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