‘Manning Up’ by Kay Hymowitz: Has the Rise of Women Turned Men Into Boys?
The answer is no.
Rites of Passage. Rites of Passage. Rites of Passage…
Our collective abandonment of young men has turned men into boys. Or, more accurately, has made it unlikely for boys to become men. But what I call “suspended adolescence” is not limited to men in their 20s and early 30s (though they’re the most obvious social strata), it’s not limited to a phenomenon of recent years (though recent economic realities make it far worse), it’s not limited to the social rise of women (though that certainly makes men’s pain more acute), it’s a social reality we’ve been living with for 65 years, ever since the majority of men started spending more time at work – away from home and their sons.
Do you know a young man like one of these 20 somethings? To compound their misery I invite you to blame them – the victims – like Kay Hymonwitz does. I invite you to prescribe “manning up” as the cure. These strategies will accomplish nothing.
First of all, “manning up” hearkens back to the old male myths men, and smart women, are doing their best to put to rest. It invokes the macho ways of John Wayne. It invokes the culturally prescribed habits of stoicism, of emotional repression. It invokes the cultural myths of “do it yourself,” of Horatio Alger, of “it’s my fault – if I were a real man I could overcome this.” Given her invocation of these myths it’s Kay Hymowitz herself who may be the real reactionary. I would recommend she learn what it takes for a man to become spiritual warrior!